Excerpts from Produced Projects
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(Z takes a huge sigh and takes a rip of the bong. THE GHOST OF LESLIE FEINBERG appears. Spit take style, Z exhales in LESLIE FEINBERG’s face.)
Z
What the fuuuuuuck?!
LESLIE FEINBERG
I did not get raided in bars for you to sit on your ass and smoke.Z
Who are you–?
LESLIE FEINBERG
Have you ever read Stone Butch Blues?Z
Obviously.
Oh shit. You’re the Butch Lesbian Legend–LESLIE FEINBERG
I’m a legend now?
Z
At least to me you are. When you died I was so young–My parents and I had just moved to this country and I read the newspaper to learn English. I spent hours staring at your photograph and felt this burning in my stomach. I wanted to grow up to be just like you. Tell me, how did you–LESLIE FEINBERG
Of course. Why else would the ghost of Leslie Feinberg be in your apartment? Look, you need to get your shit together. -
Kaila sits on the floor. They are dressed in a white button up with black pants and black socks. No shoes. Two mirrors flank them. They do not look into the mirrors, but rather into the audience.
KAILA
I don’t know if anything
I’ve ever wanted or loved
has ever truly been my own.
They catch a glimpse of their appearance in the mirror.
I am only a collection of things
crafted from those I love-
Creation is Craftsmanship.
They start to mold their body.
A creator is nothing more
Than a person with
steady, tender hands,
for Creation is an act of Love.
Formed from clay
come the body,
the mind,
shaped and molded
into a figure most
pleasing to the eye.
I never truly believed
that We are made
in God’s image.
Or that we depict
God in Our image.
What if I wrote my own creation myth?
Fashioned myself out of one of your rib bones?
Maybe you want a shape
to mirror yours,
to complement
the shadows of your form.
So with the clay of my lungs,
my heart,
my muscle,
I will create something
only you can love.
I will teach you to love the person I create for you.
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Kupuna means ancestor. It is someone who teaches you who you are and how to live in this world with tenderness and love. A few years ago I looked into my family history and found out that Kapaemahu is my kupuna. They are on my dad’s side of the family, where I’m related to my cousin, too.
A light shines on where the cousin interaction took place. Kaimana finds her light.
To be mahu is to be in balance. It’s not masculine, it’s not feminine. It’s harnessing the energy of the earth in a way that suits you and your community. Those stones the villagers arranged for the kapaemahu are still on Waikiki in their honor.
Kaimana addresses the stones.
I needed to learn about you. You make me feel like there is something we have lived for before and something for me to continue to live for throughout my transition. I’m more of a woman than a man, but you, who is both, neither, equal, together, blended, separate… you saved my people long before I existed. You drive me to be something similar for my trans brothers and sisters who come after me. I see keiki walking down the street wearing their hair how they want or anykine clothes they like and it reminds me that I couldn’t do the same when I was seven or eight. I want them to be proud of themselves because you were proud of yourself.
Three deep, internal, healing breaths with the cape.
Kaimana once again addresses the audience.
I went by Kai for many years because it made everyone else’s lives easier, but you can call me Kaimana. Kaimana was the name I was born with, and the name I will take with me when my time on this earth is pau. Thank you. I love you. Aloha.